SOLO PARENTING PERSPECTIVE

🌷I have wanted to a mother forever, but my biggest fear in life was being a single parent, although married. I had seen so many examples of women who, although they had a partner, were still solo parenting. That’s the reason I waited for Phil, why I didn’t get married to the wrong person. Why, although I desperately wanted to be a mom, I knew I wanted to parent in a partnership, and that’s the image I wanted my children to see.

This week was a prime example of why I was right to wait for “Mr. Right.” Phil had to travel for work. He’s traveled before. I’ve solo parented my fair share during these times, but there was something about this week. Evie is on the mend from HFM, but she’s still not 100%. The nasty cough refuses to go away.  She coughed so hard, she threw up all over my work outfit – I was drenched in baby spit up. Work has been more intense lately, including early morning calls. Bottles need to be made, laundry done, and Darla walked and loved-on. All the normal life things, that, with a partner, are very manageable. We share responsibilities, give each other time to shower, run, sleep.

Without Phil here this week, it was all on me. Thankfully, I had my parents’ help! Even better, they looked at it as a treat – spending time with Evie is never a chore for them. I was able to get things done around the house and even get decent sleep. In fact, I slept so deeply, I peed the bed. I chalk it up to exhaustion, but who the f knows why this happened.

Regardless, the week went fine, but it is always better (and more fun) with a partner. I’m assuming people that do it on their own must have a support network, or maybe they just make do the best they can, set better boundaries, and say “no” without explanation. In some ways, I felt more productive this week. I constantly had a running list of things that needed to be done. I was a multitasking feign. Evie took a conference call with me, and she splashed in the sink water as I cleaned her bottles. Darla didn’t get enough attention, but we still made time for a walk.

It’s like Phil has said, having a second parent around doesn’t make things twice as easy, it makes them a hundred times easier. The inverse also true – with one parent, life isn’t twice as difficult, it is 100x. Without a second parent, some things just get lost in chaos - including hair washing, and coherent adult conversations.

I really can’t complain. Evie started her week seeing the woman who carried her for the first time in 7 months, she attended her first garden party (she was the youngest by many, many decades,) she got the love of her grandparents, teachers, and mom throughout the week, and by the end, her dad was home, and things went back as they had always been, as a family of five (and I finally got to wash my hair!)🌷