Merry F’ing Flu Season to Us
🌷We all went down this week. Some more than others. Whatever the hell is going on, hit us all at once. Evie started to get sick last week. We went to the doctor’s office twice in 24 hours. We didn’t know if it was an ear infection or the flu. The first doctor said it was 2 massive teeth coming in; the second said it was viral. After she threw up at school 3 times in less than 24 hours, I had to immediately pick her up.
Now, taking care of my sick daughter is something I happily do. Secretly, it’s quite sweet. The only time Evie is cuddly is when she is sick. However, taking care of a sick baby, while also being sick – and having a completely incapacitated husband (also sick) is a level of hell I cannot articulate. To make matters worse, Evie appeared to be doing better, so she went to school (after all, I work). Nothing feels better than when you’re sleep deprived, exhausted, covered in bodily fluids, at odds with you husband, running absolutely ragged – than to also be scolded by your daughter’s teacher about how awful her day was (and how they were confused why she was there.) I had a complete meltdown, crying, shaking, holding my baby, trying to explain that Evie appeared to be okay, I didn’t have the flexibility at work, Phil was on his deathbed, and she LOVES being at school, so we genuinely thought it was best she go.
The week only got worse. Phil got sicker and I got more exhausted. One of my coworkers told me moms have superpowers. We have this ability to just power through. Always.
Not going to lie, I don’t feel like I can be sick. My body is telling me to rest, but I don’t feel like that’s an option. Evie must get to and from school. She needs and deserves to be around with a mom with a good attitude. I have deadlines that I can’t miss (and if I did, I would probably lose my job). There is no one picking up my slack. I joked with my mom that what I need is a wife.
I keep reading about the burnout of millennial woman. We were the first generation of women that were told “we could have it all.” We can have an education, a career, a family, friends….but what no one told us was, we would still have to do it all. Yes, we could/can have all these things the generations of women before us didn’t have (identities outside of the home,) but no one was going to pick up the slack for the limited time that we had, now that we were also devoting part of our lives to creating a career and financial stability for our families.
I never want to give up my career. I don’t believe that I should have to. But, f*&^, there are some improvements needed. Women shouldn’t be expected to just push through because we can. We’re not given the same grace as men when we’re sick. The expectations on us is heightened and the scrutiny is way more aggressive. Do you think if I was in bed for a week, my job would give me slack or my daughter. Hell fucking no.
Either way. I digress. Phil says he would do the same for me. I believe him. I also know he feels guilty for being unable to help with anything. I also know, he deserves to rest when he’s sick (just as everyone does). Humans should be allowed to take care of themselves when sick. As a man, he’s been allowed to be sick in his life, and take care of himself as needed. The same is not true for women. I have never been “allowed” to be sick because “I am a woman” and “I have superpowers” and I just push through. So, I keep pushing, but sometimes I wonder how much can be expected of one person before they completely break apart.
Many a million thanks to my parents for taking Evie for the upcoming weekend. One would think I would spend this time sleeping. Well, this mom doesn’t have time for sleeping – it’s the holidays after all and the to-do list certainly has shortened this week.🌷
