Daycare Dilemmas
🌷Being working parents is hard enough. I feel guilty that Evie spends more time at school during the week than she does at home. I constantly remind myself Evie is happy at school, she is making friends, learning social skills, trying new activities, and school is better at a lot of things that Phil and I are not. Plus, Evie will grow up seeing two, happily employed parents. She will know that she, too, can have a career and be a mom and a parent (if she so chooses.) All in all, school has been an incredibly positive experience for all of us. As much as I love my daughter, I am a better mom having a career, than I would be, without one.
Imagine how frustrating it is when school makes us feel like degenerate parents. This week, Evie has struggled with teething. She has been more needy, wanting to be held more, and insisting on always being near one of her people. BUT, she’s not ill. She’s recovered from norovirus, is barely coughing, and is generally, in good spirits. So, on Wednesday, when we got a message that Evie was “more emotional” than usual, and daycare asked if they could give her Tylenol, we immediately said “of course.” Daycare never gave her the meds, and instead, took her temperature, which was barely over the standard. Phil immediately picked her up. Leaving school, Phil was shamed by one of the teachers for Evie not having a coat on. Phil’s care was 10 feet away and babies aren’t supposed to have coats on in a car seat. Regardless, this woman can kindly fuck off. It’s not her place to judge us, regardless of whom is paying whom, but especially in a situation where we, as parents, are doing the very best we can.
Phil and Evelyn had the best afternoon. Evie was in great spirits. Any “fever” was clearly due to teeth pain, and frankly, was clearly used as an excuse for daycare to not take care of her.
Then, on Thursday, after dropping her off, we immediately got a message, stating that the rule is a kid can’t be brought in within 24 hours after a fever. The message was pointed. It was also bullshit because Evie wasn’t sick. As far as I know, teething is not contagious. We received another message later in the morning, stating that Evie was very emotional and the teachers needed the ability to take care of the other babies – as Evie always wanted to be near a teacher or held. HELLO! Isn’t that your fucking job?! They didn’t say we had to pick her up, but we obviously did. And guess what, she was perfectly happy and healthy. Daycare just “didn’t want to be bothered”.
Phil and I love spending time with our girl, but we are also paying thousands of dollars every month for Evelyn to be at this facility that we waited over a year to attend. We also have jobs. It’s one thing to send a sick baby home, it’s another one to shame parents and make them feel like total dog shit. We are all doing the best we can.
The reality is, school could have handled this week in a multitude of different ways that would not have left an extremely sour taste in our mouths. First, they should have tried giving her the meds they asked about, Second, they could have expressed their concerns, rather than shaming us. Third, they could have asked how she was doing at home, because she seemed overly needy at daycare. All in all, they could have treated us like parents trying to navigate school, jobs, and daycare. Instead, they treated us like dirt, leaving us in a very precarious situation. Evie is attached to her teachers and loves school. We don’t want to take her out of this school, but we also know, there’s a massive waitlist to get in, so we feel like they don’t really care if we’re there (although we hope that’s not true, and hope that they do, in fact, love Evie.)
Vent session over. My parents took Evie on Thursday overnight, so Phil and I could work. They acknowledged how happy she is/was. As much as I wanted to write a nasty note to school, stating that “Evie is doing amazing, so happy and healthy, but we don’t want to burden you, so we’ll keep her home – and you can get paid for the day without having to do shit.” I held my tongue, and instead, debated whether I should get them gift cards for Christmas next week…… 🌷
