HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY….TO ME

🌷I have lost count the number of times people have said, “you must be so excited for your FIRST Mother’s Day!.....Happy First Mother's Day” (or something to that effect). The intention is well-meaning (we have our beautiful daughter here to celebrate this year!) The message always hurts a little too. 

My first Mother’s Day was when I was pregnant with our son in 2022. Ever since that year, I have always considered myself a mother. They say a woman becomes a mom when she gets pregnant (I think this should be, “when she has a baby on the way .”) Don’t get me wrong, this Mother’s Day is the most special, the most exciting, the most important of all, because we finally have our sweet baby with us, to celebrate. BUT, the prior Mother’s Days were so meaningful to me as well. Obviously, in 2022, I was newly pregnant; Phil and I didn’t celebrate, per se, but we chatted about the future Mother’s Days and how excited we were to become pregnant. Mother’s Day 2023, I was in a very dark spot, slowly recovering from my surgery at Mayo, but also hopeful that I would be able to carry my own children. Mother’s Day 2024 was so joyful. We were a couple months pregnant with our daughter (via our gestational carrier,) and soaking up every moment of finally, finally having a baby on the way. And this year, 2025, all I can think about is Mother’s Day and how grateful I am to get to celebrate with my husband and daughter. 

It’s not lost on me how very difficult this upcoming day could be, if we didn’t have our baby with us. It’s also not lost on me, how painful this day is for million of woman. I see so many posts online about people celebrating Mother’s Day, and people should celebrate all the moms out there. BUT, I also know how difficult and painful those post can be to see, when all you want in this world is a baby next to you.

So, while I excitedly wait for this Mother’s Day at the end of the week, I have also been reflecting on how significant this day is. How it is not a given that it will be celebratory. If you’ve never fought infertility, Mother’s Day is just a given celebration – you have a mom (or motherly figures in your life,) or you become a mom easily. BUT, if you have a troubled relationship with you mom (or the mom figures in your life...or especiallly if you have lost your mom,) OR you are desperate for a baby, Mother’s Day can feel very painful. A day you’d probably prefer to not acknowledge.

So, this Mother’s Day, I plan to celebrate, because there were so many times over the past 3 years, I didn’t know if the day would ever be celebratory. I plan to celebrate me, but also my own mom, who has proven herself to be the most amazing grandmother (as well as mother). BUT, above and beyond the celebration, I plan to reach out to those I know are struggling with their ferility. This day is theirs too. 🌷