SOLO PARENTING
🌷This week, I got my first take of solo parenting, while working fulltime. Phil, Evie, and I celebrated our first Mother’s Day this past Sunday as a family of three. I slept in, Phil spoiled me with a beautiful November (Evie’s) birthstone necklace, drank wine, and got take-out. Our grand plans of a fancy brunch out quickly dissipated, as Evie appeared to be teething (and thus, extremely fussy.) Turns out, she just wanted to hang with mom and dad at home.
As the day came to an end, Phil kept mentioning, as he had for weeks, how he didn’t want to leave us for the upcoming week. He asked if I was going to be okay, said he couldn’t stand the idea of not seeing Evie’s smiles in the morning. Frankly, I didn’t give it two thoughts. We’ve known about this work trip for a month or so. Phil has thought about it a lot, but I didn’t. I kept thinking of the woman with twins in my newborn class this past winter. Everyone wanted to help her (we were all struggling with one babe, how the F was she doing it with two!) We were walking out of our weekly coffee together, and as I was about to grab the door for her and her “minibus” stroller, she stated, “it’s ok. I got this.” My response, “I don’t know how you do it!!!” I’m guessing she had that say phrase thrown at her a million times. I’ll never forget her response, “there’s nothing to do, but to do it.”
So as this week of solo parenting quickly approached (and inevitably arrived) I didn’t feel like it was a train coming my way, rather, I knew I would “ just do it.” What other option was there? So, while Phil jetted off to Austin, Texas, to stay in a 5-star hotel, eat gorgeous meals every night, take 45-minute showers, sleep through the night, and not have to clean a thing, I woke up extra early every morning, only to be soaked in baby vomit by 7 AM, ate cereal, and took 2 minute showers (Evie nearby in her Bjorn, staring.) Evie and I played and talked before “school”. We laughed and got dressed together. Picking out her cute outfit everyday was the highlight of my day, next to our evening baths. At night, we went for a walk, Darla in tow (often, under the stroller). We sat outside and watched our neighbors play. Evie played in the bathtub, and we read every night. It was exhausting, but more than that, it was fun and rewarding. Spending all my free time with our daughter is something I know I will crave when she gets older. Right now, we’re best buds.
I never once stopped to think of all the things that had to be done. I just knew they had to be. Darla had to be fed (and walked). Evie needed three bottles for daycare. Evie needed clean clothes and burp clothes. A pediatrician appointed had to be made. The list was (as always) endless. Most things got done, but not all of them.
Phil came home to a messy house, a tired wife, and a very well-loved daughter. As for me, I didn’t just survive the week, I thrived. It is wildly empowering to be a fulltime working profession and mom – and to do both of those things successfully, on my own, I’ve never felt like more of a badass.
But let’s be honest, it’s better when there are two of us around. Evie loves her mom’s company, but she also loves her ridiculous, dancing, silly dad. As empowered as I felt this past week, nothing brings me more joy than parenting with Phil. Raising a little human is an extraordinary, rewarding, difficult, important job, but getting to do it with someone who is a great father is not only helpful (it is easier with 2 sets of hands,) is life-defining. 🌷
