BAPTISM BABY
🌷Big things happened this week. First, Evie had a couple nights of good sleep, but unfortunately some terrible ones as well. Wednesday night, she woke up at 915 and didn't officially go back to sleep until past 2 AM. Ugh. We don't know if it was her new bathtub toy. She fell in love with the bubbling, noisy, frog....but we also wonder if it over-stimulated her. At one point, I brought her into our spare bedroom, thinking just maybe she'd fall asleep with me (despite her never doing so in her 15 months!) Instead, she wanted to play. She laid her head next to mine, petted my face, clapped, and was an all around goof (at 1 AM). At that moment, I had 2 thoughts. One, I really needed sleep and was thinking about what the next day would look and feel like.Two, and more importantly, I thought about how there will be a time in my life where I will wish my baby wanted to play with me in the middle of the night. The second thought helped me resent my perspective. Truly. I need sleep, but more than that, I desperately need and want my baby to need and want me. What could possibly be more special?
Second, and back to the present moment, I met with the woman that will hopefully carry our baby #2. She told me how much she is working on being more present. I can learn so much from her, and I loved that this was something she is actively doing. My goal is to follow suit. Even now, I am focused on getting baby #2, but don't want to miss out on the special moments with Evie. It is so hard trying to work with the fertility clinic. Just thinking about the "what ifs" and money, and uncertainties drives me bad shit crazy. I need to stay more in the moment, and let go of some control. Enjoying our Saturday breakfasts (I’ve been loving making breakfast for my family,) and Phil and my “fancy Fridays,” and all the smiles and giggles with Evie - I don’t want to be so focused on the future that I miss out on all these joys.
Third, we finally met with my hometown's deacon for our baptism class. April 12, 2026, Evie will officially be baptized. 🌷
