SLEEPLESS SADS

🌷The week ended on Valentine's Day; a day celebrated by my mom, Evie, Phil and me going to the Children's Theater to watch "Go Dog Go"! We wanted my mom to experience the joy of watching Evie enjoy a play (like she did at The Grinch!)

Despite a happy ending to the week, the week was a bit rough. Evie only slept through the night 1 time. Not sure if it is a new regression, due to her being able to pull herself up. Regardless, Phil and I struggled through. On Thursday night, after getting up earlier in the night, and Evie screaming, I went into her room and "gently slammed" her nursery door shut. I felt so overwhelmed, and exhausted (and a little sick from a prior meal,) and the last thing I wanted was to be awake at 3 AM. This upset Phil, but I insisted on rocking her, which is what I did until 4:10 AM. 

The next morning I felt awful for the door. I apologized to Evie. She didn't seem to notice my frustration during the night, but the loud noise of a door closing haunts me. I feel like a terrible mom. It's not Evie's fault. She immediately calmed when I held her. How lucky am I to be able to provide that kind of support and calm and comfort to my daughter?

I know mom guilt is part of having a baby, but it's the hardest feeling. I'll try to remember this the next time Evie wakes me in the middle of the night. 🌷